Dr. Estrelita Bruce is much more than a beauty – she is a wife, mother, life coach, Christian counselor, author, blogger and PH.D obtainer who has successfully turned her pain into purpose. Originally creating Zoea Life, Inc. in order to help women through healing, wholesomeness and discovering their God-given purpose, she recently embarked on lifestyle blogging as well; showcasing a A New Me: Transparently, Abundantly.
What life events happened that made you feel compelled to build a business that would help women transform their traumas into opportunities for wholeness and healing?
There were many, but the loss of a husband at the age of 24 is where it all started. It was very traumatic and it really unearthed a lot of other unresolved issues from my past. I’ve always had a passion to help others embrace mental and spiritual wholeness (pursuing Psychology/Counseling in school) so I believe my passion coupled with my own experiences birthed my God-given purpose. More specifically, I have a heart for women to understand their traumas or losses don’t have to define them, but to perceive it an opportunity to embrace healing and discover their own purpose.
What was your main purpose behind launching ANewMeDrE.com?
Well first, I created the blog because I believe the Lord led me to do it in 2015. So I started preparing by researching on how to actually build a blog site. My intent was to post a few blogs here and there. I felt the need to be more transparent about my life as a woman, Christian, mom, entrepreneur, and wife. I connected with the right people to help me design it so when I launched it in January 2016 I didn’t expect for it to transition the way it did, but God knew. He knows me! Lol I can never do anything “ordinary”. It was a full launch of re-branding myself. Currently I’m creating products and services, and giving others a platform to share their areas of expertise that align with the mission.
My main purpose was to inspire women to live life transparently and abundantly in Christ. I had to put this to practice first. It took me years to share my pain with others. What I have discovered is once you’re okay with sharing your story it helps free others. We don’t realize how impactful our story can be. It is life changing and our story is what someone else needs. We just need the courage and right timing to share. Personally, I started to experience true freedom and authenticity by moving forward with the launch. I’m so glad I did because it gave others permission to experience this as well. By launching A NEW ME it keeps me accountable and authentic to God and my readers.
Explain the fulfillment of walking in your God-given purpose and why it’s important for you to help other women do the same thing.
I want women to understand walking in your divine purpose is everything! You can accumulate “stuff” and live lavishly, but if you don’t know what you were really created to do on this earth you will live empty. Les Brown said it best, “Live full, die empty.” This means true fulfillment is found in life when you know what you were destined to do. It means having the end goal in mind to leave this earth empty, because you would have poured yourself out completely once you decided to tap into your maximum potential. Women are influencers. We turn the heads of powerful men, we can change the heart of nations, we give birth, we comfort, we nurture, and we are resilient creatures. Just think if we can connect with our Creator, know our worth, and discover our purpose… What an even more powerful world we would live in!
What would you claim as your biggest accomplishment thus far? What has been the biggest fear you’d had to overcome?
My biggest accomplishment has been to have the courage to remarry and give birth to our beautiful daughter, Kori. Also, adding to our family with our “big girl”, Anais. They all make me a better woman because they teach me to live authentically. The biggest fear I constantly have to fight daily is refusing to nurture the fears of losing everything I love again. My restored life has been my promise from God so it’s a blessing, but it’s equally scary to think I could lose it all again.
You’re currently writing a book – how do you find time to balance a job, a family, a business and a dream? Many women will never even begin what they really want to do because they feel they don’t have the time to.
Balance.. Pshhh! It doesn’t exist! LOL okay it does, but I’ve learned to redefine my perception of balance. My balance will not look like the next woman who is juggling very similar roles. I’ve learned you have to do what works best for your family. Brian and I, our schedules are pretty hectic, but communication is the key for us. We have to make sure we are taking care of each other as a couple and making sure the little one has what she needs as well. I’ve also learned if I don’t accomplish something on my “daily to do list,” such as writing my book, it’s still okay. I may have to readjust some other tasks the next day, but I can begin again.
Life happens. If you can give each day of your life your very best, why live in guilt too? Listen, I’m learning to embrace my daily accomplishments, take care of me by making time for me (spas, working out, shopping, reading), and do the best I can with what resources I have. Do I get tired and frustrated? Absolutely, but I have to remind myself – I prayed for this. So, to my single ladies desiring a family and to live in your purpose, “be careful what you pray for, but also be prepared for what you prayed for”.
You married your husband Brian at 33; did you feel pressure from society or family to settle before you knew you should?
I didn’t feel the pressure at all. I think because my situation was different. Being married before at such a young age already made me feel accomplished in that area when I reached a certain place in my healing. Trust me when I say, I had to work through that process. However, I will say in between the period of my loss and remarrying there were times I was punching my own clock by rushing to get remarried. I put that undo pressure on myself, others did not.
What I had to learn to do was trust God’s timing. God promised I would remarry again. I think it’s important for women who desire marriage to prepare in the Lord first. This means finding time to read the bible, pray, serve others, connect with like-minded individuals, ask God for discernment when you’re dating, and hold yourself accountable to someone you can trust while you’re dating. When Brian found me, he knew day one I was his wife. Me..? No ma’am! LOL I prayed for confirmations (plural) because of my past, and God granted my requests because He knows me. We took our time. My heart and spirit had to get aligned with what God said about Brian before I made the move, and I’m so glad I waited on God’s timing.
For women looking for husbands, what three qualities do you feel a good man will possess?
First, he must be willing to sacrifice himself for you. He shouldn’t be all for himself. He should be finding ways to prepare for your future. Second, he must have integrity. Notice if he is a man of character. Observe how he treats people, his family, in serving others, and most of all is he honest? Third, is he God fearing? I know this can sound a bit cliche but does he really have an active, personal relationship with Christ? The reason I believe this is important is because if you believe God designed marriage, then you need a man who is willing to connect with the One who created it. He needs to be prepared to lead you spiritually.
I also want to add this additional advice for my ladies – 1) If you find a potential mate, accept him for who he is today. My husband told me his father told him, “women marry with the hopes the man will change. Men marry with the hopes the woman will remain the same.” This is so true! Now obviously I knew this before I married my husband, because I was guilty of trying to change some things about him too! #EpicFail Change will come in both parties, but focus on what you need to change in you first. Then, pray for God to change things in your spouse or future spouse if it’s necessary, but accept who he is day one. 2) Ask yourself do you respect him? I actually wrote a blog recently entitled “Marriage Chronicles: How I Learned to Respect My Husband More”. Men see respect as a crown of their manhood. If you don’t respect him, you shouldn’t marry him. 3) Is he able to provide financially? Of course we want security, so make sure he can provide for you and your future. If you make more money than him, then be willing to take up the slack while still respecting his position as the authority figure. I know you didn’t ask for all of that, but just thought I would throw that in for free! LOL
For an ambitious woman like yourself, how powerful is it to have a supportive partner and do you think it’s necessary?
Oh gosh yes! I know I would not have gotten this far in my accomplishments and with a little one without my husband’s support. I know this is not everyone’s experience because I see a lot of single ladies and single moms grinding it out! I commend women who have that ambition, but for me I needed a life partner to help push me to the next level because I can be so private. I needed someone in my living space to really connect with my ways and hold me accountable to my own dreams. God knew the only way this could happen was through marriage.
My husband is more than just an amazing husband and father. He’s my best friend and life coach too! Anais knows what I’m talking about, Brian (“Poppa B” is what Anais calls him) will tell it like it is. He’s a straight shooter, I love it (most of the time LOL) because I need that in my life when I didn’t think I needed it. His counsel has been so timely when I’ve gotten overly ambitious. He supports my visions and also challenges me to look at things realistically. Now, logic never works with faith, but usually he has been spot on so that would make him discerning. This is why it’s important to have a supportive partner who is willing to lead you and still allow you to make your own decisions. It’s definitely necessary if you’re a woman of purpose, like myself.
What is your B Werd?
My B Werd is “believe”. Belief gives life to your dreams, visions, family, and worth. What you believe can help you to create something so powerful and indelible in the world. If you can fully connect to the meaning of belief mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically you will be unstoppable! Believe in the powerful creature God created you to “B”.
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Such a beautiful, strong woman — I loved all of her responses and they’ve felt so relatable, especially the one about balance. I really like how she indicated that everyone’s method of balance is going to be different and unique. It took some time for me to figure this out but life became so much easier when I learned that lesson.
I can hardly balance what I’m doing know, let alone throw a child and husband into the mix LOL my hat definitely goes off to her. Thank you for reading Rae! xx