#CoffeeTalk

I have been friends/roommates with a young lady for about three years now. We recently moved in together about a year ago and it will make two years very soon. We’re pretty much alike when it comes to our academics. We like to study hard, but I have recently noticed something unusual about her. We’re close but not very close (if you know what I mean) we don’t often share our problems with each other. I guess it may be due to our personalities but I am not sure. I am a pretty private person and I am very selective with who I have in my inner circle. I hardly ever vent to anyone. She is a great person to talk to but I never know when she is experiencing her “down” days. When I feel like there is something bothering her she always tells me,”I am okay just had to deal with something at the moment and it will be fine, thanks for checking.” When it comes to academics, we don’t discuss scores either. We have a class together and we rarely ever talk about the exams unless I initiate it. When I talk about my future, she is supportive but only to a certain extent. For instance she would talk about the achievements of our mutual friends but when it comes to what I want to pursue in the future, she’s bit more “reluctant”. Should I just keep a distance and take it as “roommates” and nothing more? What do you think?

I’m a firm believer of the saying “you get what you give” and when I say that, I don’t mean give more because you want more. If all she’s giving you is a cordial surface level friendship, take that and return it. Nothing should be forced, especially not friendships. I can’t quite pinpoint why she’d be less supportive of you and your goals or accomplishments as she is with your other mutual friends, but the “why” really doesn’t matter. She may very well be a private person who isn’t intentionally trying to be standoffish with you, or she may just view you as a roommate and not a close friend – which is perfectly OK too. Take the situation for what it is without taking her actions too personally and you’ll feel a lot less compelled to try and figure out exactly why she may be acting the way she is. Perhaps some other young women in your group of mutual friends would be more open to discussing the things that are important to you like academics and future aspirations. Good luck!

I have a beach vacation coming up where I plan to do absolutely nothing more but roam around the beach all day and take photos. I’m only looking to pack rompers to go over my swimsuits that I already have. Any good ideas?

I feel you girl! Lol those are my favorite things to do. The best part about rompers is that they’re typically inexpensive and are versatile enough to be worn as outfits. Here are some cute ones –

I have a part time job at an insurance agency and also go to school part time. I hate my job and know I don’t want to do this for the long run but I’m so afraid to quit. What can I do? I honestly get sick just by walking by the door.

Working a job you dislike is one of the worst ways to waste away your days. Whether you plan to work a job long-term, or are only there temporarily it should be relatively enjoyable. If I were you, I wouldn’t quit, but I would start by weighing what other part time options I had, because right now school is the #1 priority and you’ll need a job that will work around your schedule. While I was in college I worked full-time, and went to school full-time, here’s how – I looked for “corporate” kind of jobs that were open on weekends. This gave me the opportunity to still get business experience, but also allowed me two off-days during the week in order to go to school since working the weekends was always required. For a while I worked at a design studio for a home building company. The studio was open seven days a week, so I got two off during the week to keep my school schedule intact. I also leased apartments, which worked for school as well. I knew neither were what I wanted to do long term but both allowed me to pursue my education and make decent money. Even though neither were in my “field” of work, I still learned many transferable skills that I could use in any position. I wouldn’t worry so much about how long you’d want to work a job right now. Do what you’ve gotta do to get where you’ve gotta go and take the best of each experience with you.

I am about to graduate and move into my career. For a graduation present, I want the perfect black purse under $500 that will work in both the workplace and day to day. I want it to look very mature and definitely on that Girl-BOSS level. Any suggestions?

Congratulations boo! One thing I don’t do is switch purses. I buy a quality bag and wear it out until the handles break off. Just kidding, that only happened once. This Zac Posen bag is the last bag I bought and I wear it every single day. The $200-$500 price is a safe range for a quality bag that will look amazing and last you without spending an outrageous amount of money. There are several credible consignment shops that sell Louis Vutton, Gucci and other major designers for under $500 and I linked a few below! The solid LV is a classic and my favorite.

I’ve been following you for some time now & immediately felt a connection by your pursue in your career right after undergrad. I began my career as a Business Consultant at IBM after undergrad and quickly realized the big corporate world wasn’t for me. Fast forward to 2 years later — I am now an Operations Analyst for a local company. My dilemma is that I’ve recently launched my Branding business that I’ve been side hustling for a few years now. My current boss has tasked me with Graphic Design work for the company (creating product catalogs, marketing flyers, etc) — while also doing my main role as an Operations Analyst. When is the right time to speak up about a raise? My workload is steady increasing while my pockets are staying the same.

The right time to speak up about a raise was yesterday. I don’t care what company policies are in place, more responsibility needs to mean more pay. Smaller companies are notorious for spreading their employees thin because they don’t have the capacity to allow each employee to solely own one role, but that’s not your fault. If you haven’t already, I would schedule a time to speak with your current boss about the extent of your new tasks. Make a list of all of your current responsibilities so you can quickly reference them and explain to them that you’re now doing much more than what you were assigned when you were first hired. I know discussions like this can be very uncomfortable, but if we don’t speak up, we’ll be assed out. We never get what we deserve, we only get what we have the nerve to negotiate. Ask specific questions such as “would adding graphic design work to my plate be considered a promotion?” or “how are increases considered here at XYZ Company?” to make sure they’re understanding what you’re insinuating if you feel uncomfortable flat out asking. The reason why we work is for a paycheck and we need to be compensated for our work load. If they can’t give you specific timelines or plans in regards to when you can expect what, I’d begin looking elsewhere. And you never know… this could be a sign that you should be side-hustling full-time.

I’m going to Vegas in July and I wanted to get some ideas for some sexy jumpsuits and dresses that I can wear for the night life. I also wanted to get some ideas on some day outfits since it’s super hot there! Definitely a different kind of heat than here in Houston. I’m on the curvy side, thanks girly!