I’m turning 30 in June and will be celebrating my birthday in New Orleans for Essence Festival with some of my closest girlfriends and I’m in need of both day and night outfit inspirations. I’m going for a structured and form-fitting look at night and more of a relaxed, colorful, and flowy look during the day, but I cant make a single decision! Hopefully, you can steer me in the right direction to look my best during this epic time of celebration.
I’ve never been to Essence but after watching Girl’s Trip it’s definitely on my to-do list LOL. I’ve rounded up a few daytime options and some night out options. Since you’ll likely be doing a lot of walking in the daytime, I’d stick to maybe some colorful culottes and a bodysuit or a bright colored maxi dress. For the evening, you can do a sexier dress, or even a pair of high waisted trousers with a nice bodysuit. Have fun!
How have you handled managing your money as far as building a house, trips, and planning a wedding at the same time?
I am a huge saver of money. I’ve been living off of a fraction of my income for a very long time. Before dating Nate, I remember looking at my savings account and thinking “what am I saving all this money for? I get one day I’ll need a house.” LOL. I could’ve booked a two month vacation or bought myself a few nice bags, but I’ve always preferred to keep my money where I can see it. Although I didn’t know what I was saving for then, it’s been my saving grace throughout this process. I hardly ever feel stressed, because I know financially, things will be taken care of. Additionally, I’ve found ways to bring in extra money. So instead of dividing up my paycheck, I have several other streams of income I can look forward to. That definitely helps! I hold off on certain things I don’t necessarily “need” because I’m prepared for a ton of expenses to come up within the next year, so the plan is always to save more money + make more money. If money is coming in, while it’s going out, it hurts way less.
Can you link some of your favorite sunnies under $100?
Sure thing! Here are some I either have or am eyeing –
I’m struggling with time management. What do you feel is the most important step to ensure you maximize your time daily?
For me personally, knowing exactly WHAT needs to be completed today helps me prioritize what should be taken care of immediately, and what I can do later on in the day to enjoy myself. If I know I have to work on two events for work, respond to 4 particular emails, buy a dress for a wedding this weekend and open up a business account, I’ll arrange my day specifically around those things. Knock things out back to back without distraction. I close out of Facebook and Instagram until I complete my task. I’ll tell myself “when those 4 emails are responded to, you can leave for lunch”. Instead of lunch, I’ll stop by the bank to open up the business account that I need and before 5 pm hits, I’ve done everything that “needed” to be done that day. Another thing that might help you, is getting one of those planners that allows you to make out your day hour-by-hour. Dedicating actual time to tasks not only keeps you on track, but also helps you recognize how much time you need to get something done.
How do I get over my on again, off again ex? We have really intense highs and really intense lows… Lately, I’ve been feeling like I want out but it’s hard… so hard. What are your tips on getting over an ex/long term relationship?
I had a relationship that sounded pretty similar in high school that lead into college. Overall, it was an unhealthy relationship. We’d say we were breaking up and end up right next to each other again, without finding a way to solve any of the issues we were having. Of course when you’re with someone you want to make it work with you’re hesitant to walk away from many reasons. I especially felt like this was the person meant for me and knew it would be hard to find anyone to take his place. It got to the point to where I had to really want different. I remember telling myself that I had had enough, I deserved way better and was worth way more. I made it a point to show him I didn’t need him and was better off without him, and I went on to do exactly that. Moving on is a choice you have to be ready to make and you have to stick with it. Cut ties. Stop communication, even if you have to let him know upfront why he won’t be hearing from you. Begin to seek other ways to enjoy yourself and your time outside of him. Try a new workout class, a new restaurant, a new recipe. Read a new book and find ways to improve yourself. Once you can finally get a grasp of what life is without him, you’ll feel so much relief. Be patient with yourself, it takes time. Good luck! xx
I will be headed out to D.C. in August for my birthday celebration. Do you have any suggestions of outfits (I will be wearing long Solange inspired box braids )? If you’ve been to D.C./ DMV area do you have any suggestions of places to go?
I’ve been to DC a couple of times and I really love the city, especially in the Fall. It’s beautiful, the people are nice and dress well and the food is good. A lot may have changed since the last time I went, but when I was there last I had the best time in a happy hour hookah bar that had a DJ (of course I can’t remember the name) and did a day party that Sunday at The Gryphon. If you’re going to be exploring, I’d pack some lighter options for the daytime. Denim shorts, a graphic tee and a pair of sneakers, or a breezy romper with sandals. I’m also loving belt bags! Gives you a hands-free but secure option to walk around. For your birthday, you want something special! A gorgeous dress or statement jumpsuit.
How do you save money and still shop enough to have content for the blog? Or do you have any spending vs saving tips for young people trying to save money while surviving in a trendy city?
Believe me, with everything I’ve had going on lately and learning to merge my finances with another person – it’s been so hard! My budget for clothing needs to be a good amount since technically, it’s a part of my job. Regardless, I still try my best to take it easy and stick to as many budget friendly pieces as possible. Obviously you know if you follow me, I’m not wearing a lot of high-end designer clothing and if I am, it’s likely shoes or good denim. Some of my favorite places to shop for trends on a budget are – H&M, Zara, Forever21, Abercrombie (great basics!), Target, Urban Outfitters, Nordstrom (esp the juniors section for less expensive options), and ASOS. The pieces I spend more money on are staple items that can be worn again and again, season after season – nice sweaters, jeans, coats, etc.
A big conversation our generation is having is how much men/women should contribute to bills, trips, expenses, etc. and I’d love to know your opinion on that as it pertains to your own life.
This is SUCH a great question! In my early 20’s, I was so sure I was going to meet a man who would take care of me entirely and I’d just pocket all of my little money to do whatever I pleased with it. Now that I’m 28, I realize that was very unrealistic. If I couldn’t entirely take care of another person at this point, why would I expect a man my age to? There are several things to take into consideration when it comes to how finances are divided such as who makes more, and how much say-so you want to have. I can openly say that Nate takes care of the majority of our expenses and doesn’t really challenge me on that. But I’ll also say, he absolutely doesn’t let me live responsibility free, and I wouldn’t want to either. We’re a partnership and it’d make no sense for him to go broke taking care of two people, while I’m holding all of my money. We’ve found a comfortable balance for what we can each afford in a way where we’re taking care of each other.
I’m going to an all white yacht party in a couple of weeks. I want to have a comfortable cute outfit that I won’t have to wear heels with. Could you help me?
I found so many cute options! These can be worn with sandals or even canvas sneakers –
What do you like most about your soon-to-be husband?
There are a ton of things I like about Nate, and obviously a handful of things I don’t LOL. From the start of our friendship there were things I observed about his character that I admired. He was so kind and did things he didn’t have to for his friends. He’s selfless, loves to give and is always willing to help. He will literally keep a bag of clothes in his backseat to hand out to homeless that he spots as he’s driving. He loves kids and has such a way of making them love him too. He’s truly one of those men who will think outside of the box to see what he can do to make your day.
I’m moving into my first apartment and am starting from the ground up. What essentials should I start with that will lead me in the right direction?
Congratulations! It’s going to feel amazing to be in a space that’s completely yours. Take your time pulling it all together, you don’t need to have everything at once. For starters, a pretty headboard, an inexpensive rug and a side table will pull your room together. Target and Walmart have some reallllly pretty couches that won’t break your bank, but I can’t vouch for how comfortable they are. Get a set of plates and cups, silverware, a few towels and a few decorative items to set around the house.
I’ve been dating a guy consistently for 6 months. When I asked “where we were headed” the other day, he responded that I’m impatient and am not letting things naturally flow. I want to make sure I’m intentional. Am I being too impatient (I’m 31) and intentional or is that a reasonable time frame?
Every couple is different, but the most important thing to remember is that whether you all are moving fast or slow, you need to ready to flip the pages together. I personally believe that six months is plenty of time for someone to know whether or not they’d like to seriously pursue you. Realistically, that’s half a year. Let another six months go by and a year is gone, only for you to have spent it with someone who decides not to move forward with a relationship. However, I don’t want you to let your age pressure you into feeling adamant about not wanting to waste time. One thing I know for sure, is that if a man really has plans for you it won’t be anything that you’ll have to question. There’s a sense of uncertainty that you’re getting from him that’s causing you to bring this question up, which is completely fair. There’s certainly an appropriate way to ask these necessary questions without “nagging”. You’re not interrupting the natural flow of your potential relationship because you want to take the time out to have important conversations about your future. Men who aren’t ready love to flip the script and make you feel like it’s you causing him to take his time and backtrack, because of course it’s easier on him when you stay quiet and are just content with whatever he decides to give. It’s perfectly OK to have standards and it’s perfect OK to say “what you’re giving isn’t enough for me at this point”. Use your instinct. If you’ve expressed that you need a little bit more and he’s telling you he can’t give you that right now, respect his honesty enough to base your decision off of that – but don’t let him tell you it’s your fault you all aren’t going to the next step.
How do you apply your foundation? Your makeup always looks so flawless!
Thank you so much! It really depends on which foundation or form of coverage I’m using that day. Thicker foundations, I apply with my fingers. I pump it into my index and middle fingers, mix and then smooth all over my face. It looks more natural to me. I use a beauty blender to blend contouring or concealer. For everyday looks with BB Cream or FitMe foundation, I use either this foundation brush, or this one from Target. Both work wonders!
I’m 23 and working at a great company in a field I love. My team is fairly young, 23-35. It seems that because everyone is early in their career there is an underlying tone of cattiness, aggression and competition because ideally everyone is looking to grow. Do you have any tips for a young professional working in a competitive environment? How do I shine and let my talents and skills flourish without allowing myself to be walked on/over while avoiding all the drama?
Ugh, I feel your pain. Working with women and millennials can be very challenging LOL, but I think the way to best avoid the negativity and still shine is to only care about who’s opinion matters. Talk to your boss often and develop a relationship with them to where the cattiness and aggression from everyone else is irrelevant. I work with a team of 11 women and make it a point to mind my business. I don’t pry in anyone’s conversation and don’t care to ask for details when someone brings mess my way. Focus on the work and when the clock strikes 5, don’t let anything that happened at work carry over to your life at home. Unfortunately working corporate is one of those things where you have to play the game to win. Contribute great ideas, do it faster and smarter than anyone else and then move on. As annoying as it can be, we have to learn not to take it personally and only concern ourselves with what will effect us directly.
Whew! That was a long #CoffeeTalk. If I didn’t get to your question this time, I’ll definitely have it up for the next go-round. Any questions for next week can be submitted below or emailed over. Have a great weekend! xx
