I am a millennial, working a Corporate America job, loving my new relationship with my boyfriend, and gaining the dreaded “I’m in love” weight. It is starting to be noticeable to my family members, and they make comments about my weight ALL the time. What are some tips you have to stay healthy, and in shape? Also, with a new relationship, I know that you always want to go on dates, which is contributing to my weight gain. I haven’t been the best chef, but I want to learn….any tips?
Well first I want to say, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is saying about your weight if you’re comfortable in your own skin. If you’re not, then that’s another thing! I think I’ve even said before “relationships are just having someone to eat and drink with for the rest of your life” LOL. If you guys are prone to do everything together, make it a point to get active and in shape together, as well as cooking better and healthier options for one another. At restaurants, be mindful of what you order. Do a grilled chicken option with veggies or a fish (always ask for butter and oil sauces on the side) or even a big salad. Drinks add up too, so a glass or 2 of red wine is typically my max. If you know you’re going to eat a bad dinner, have a light lunch or even a meal replacement like a protein shake (my favorite here). As far as cooking goes, order a cookbook for you guys to share and make cooking at home a weekly date between you two. My favorite healthy cookbooks are this one and this one. Make him help you! That way if the food comes out nasty you can blame him LOL. Also, crockpots are heaven sent for those of us who aren’t the best chefs and an air fryer will allow you to indulge in your favorite foods without the guilt. Good luck!
I’m looking for an all white sofa or even two chairs similar to what you have in your living room! Can you find me some similar please?
Those chairs really completed our living room. And they’re so big and comfortable! Here are some similar options below –
I know you love Mexico! I’ve never been to Cabo and am thinking about going next month. What resorts do you recommend? For couples but in our age range.
I’ve been to Cabo a handful of times and have stayed in AirBNB’s and resorts. The resort I enjoyed the most was ME! Cabo. It was not only insanely beautiful in the perfect location, it also had great food, great service and great parties. I love a good day time beach party. We would enjoy breakfast and lunch by the pool followed by cabana service. If I ever go back, that’s where I’ll be. Cabo Surf Hotel & Spa as well as Casa Dorada are both very charming!
You mentioned that it’s OK to go to bed early when you’re have busy days/weeks. How do you manage it all?! You have A LOT on your plate, probably even more than you talk about. Do you drink coffee 24-7, RedBull or practice some energy witchcraft?! I work from 8-5 at a law firm, then have 4 hour classes at the Art Institute everyday from 6-10 pm and I am just SO exhausted. I feel so bad because I don’t feel like I have enough time for my own website and business goals.
Honestly, I feel like coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore and I don’t allow myself more than two cups a day. I’M. TIRED. ALL. THE. TIME. Everyday! And I don’t even have kids yet. I don’t know how some women do it! Your schedule sounds very similar to mine when I was in college, working full-time and also had a part-time internship. That was a time of transition for me, there was no way I would’ve been able to successfully build my own brand. I understand the guilt that can come from feeling like you’re not doing anything for yourself, but you are! You’re working and taking classes to eventually have more freedom and do more of what you’d like. Realistically, you won’t be in school forever and a time will come where you’ll be able to invest more time into your. business goals. Do what you can now, but you have to prioritize what must be done currently so that you’re not wearing yourself out. Pushing our bodies limits are one thing, but we must make sure we take enough mental and physical care of ourselves so that we’re rested and effective.
I’m going to Cancun for my honeymoon in September and decided to stay at the resort you mentioned on your blog. Any recommendations on activities or tours we should try?
Oh my gosssssh, you’re going to love it! I treated our time there like a true vacation and didn’t leave the resort at all. The resort in itself has tons to do such as a spa, events almost nightly and activities you can participate in daily. If you’re looking for something a little more adventurous, they can help you set up a boar or snorkeling tour, parasailing or pretty much anything else you would want to do in a place as beautiful as Isla Mujeres. They can even do something like a moonlit dinner on the beach. If you guys want to enjoy a fun night out, take a taxi to the strip one night and barhop. You’ll know where the parties at, because you’ll hear the music from outside. Enjoy and congratulations on the wedding!
I really need help with my work wardrobe. I feel like I wear the same things every week and haven’t really bought too many work items in a few years. I would love suggestions for work wear! My work dress code only includes dresses and skirts/blouses.
Here are some items I love! Also items that are still on sale thanks to 4th of July!
What are your best relationship tips on dating someone who was first your friend? And how to keep the flame and not continue to treat them like a friend?
I’d have to say, make sure that you always go back to remember that you all were friends first. Once feelings grow and roles change, it can get really easy to switch expectations and that can often ruin the reasons why we liked that person in the first place. Keep that same fun, easy and carefree energy, that your friendship consisted of, and heighten it by being more thoughtful and caring. To keep the flame, you have to remember that this isn’t just your friend, which makes it even more valuable. You’ve got a friend annnnd a lover. Someone you can trust, have a great time with and someone you know well enough to know they have good intentions for you. But don’t force it! If it’s meant to be just a friendship it’s perfectly OK to leave it at that.
How do you find good, valuable networking events? I’d like to start connecting and networking with like minded women but it doesn’t seem like there’s much of that going on outside of the in crowd. Please help!
I wish I could tell you. The only networking I really do is for work since my job requires me to be out at different events. As far as my brand goes, I’ve made the bulk of my relationships on the Internet + social media platforms. To me, there’s no better way to build connections than from inside the comfort of my own home LOL. If I’m being honest, the “in crowd” doesn’t always feel authentic and that can make it difficult for even me to want to attend those events or mingle with those people. You have to listen hard and keep your eyes open for events you may want to attend. There are a ton of brunches, business events and all kind of meet and greets in town. Grab a friend and go to one you see the women you admire are going to be attending.
What are some summer trends you’re loving?
I’m loving belt bags, ankle bracelets and mules. Straight leg jeans are also my new love!
Do you have any tips for first time home buyers? Decor and saving particularly.
Save your money. I can’t stress this enough. Whether you’re building a home or buying one that’s already built, so many unexpected expenses come up that can have you sweating in your sleep if you’re not financially prepared. If you’re doing it alone, I’d recommend at least $15,000 in your account. If you and your significant other do it together, I still recommend $15,000 because anything less than that makes me nervous! When it comes to decor, use what you have. If it can be painted, reupholstered, refurbished, try and make it work. Filling up a house from scratch takes years unless you have a $30,000 budget. Make sure you’re taking advantage of places like Home Goods, At Home, Marshalls, Target and Ross! Items like sheets, towels, and even small appliances will be so much cheaper there. I’ve gotten so many deliveries from Wayfair, Overstock and Houzz. Beds, couches, dressers, dining tables – you can find it all there at a discount!
How do you date outside of your “type”? I know us women tend to have a certain “look” and or financial situation when it comes to the men we date and we go for what we want versus what we need when it comes to a significant other.
Looks were easy for me to bend on, financial situation, not so much. I wouldn’t say I was ever really the type of women attracted to “fine” men. I don’t care for celebrities, muscles, or none of that other stuff most women deem as fine. I’m big on personality. Make me laugh, be kind, don’t act too cool and make sure your pants fit you well – then I’m pretty much sold. Still, I had to learn the hard way that a man 6 feet or taller was just a preference, not a requirement. We have to learn the difference between the two. I prefer that you don’t have kids, that you’re college educated, that you’re tall, that your teeth are straight. I require that you’re financially stable, that you’re honest, family oriented, ambitious. Make a list of what you prefer and what’s non-negotiable and refer to it when you feel like someone isn’t your “type”. Don’t miss your blessing because it doesn’t look how you thought it would!
I know you talk about the hair products you use for your curls but how do you diffuse? Low temp, cool? I feel that my curls come out better when I let them air dry than when I diffuse it because that seems to make them frizzy. What’s your secret?
My curls are the exact opposite. They’re link and unimpressive when I let them air dry. But when I diffuse them, that’s a whole different story. What I’ve noticed causes the most frizz for me, regardless of how I let my hair dry, is when I don’t put enough product in it. My hair’s especially prone to frizz, so I have to make sure that I coat my strands from scalp to end with product to avoid frizz. Products can get pricey, but don’t skimp on them if you want your best results. I rotate between high/hot and sporadically press the cool button. It takes me about 20 minutes total to get my hair completely dry (which is a long time with your head upside down). The products that help me achieve the results I love are below –
How do you find balance between sharing your life and experiences with your readers without telling too much and still keep parts of your life private?
It’s pretty simple for me. I share what I think will help others grow, but I understand my blog isn’t a diary. I don’t have an issue talking about much and consider myself pretty transparent but realistically, there are things the public just don’t need to know. For instance, in my career, I’ll happily discuss how to prepare for a review, ask for a raise or promotion, or even handle an unpleasant conversation with a coworker. By me talking about that, it could potentially help someone. Me telling you how to negotiate your salary is helpful, me disclosing my salary, isn’t. If it has the opportunity to improve the quality of life for another women or grant them an “aha” moment, I’m all for it. If it’s to boast or to appease other people who are genuinely just nosey, I’ll keep it to myself.
Please share your skincare routine! Your skin always looks so amazing.
I’ve rotated skincare products for so long and have to say that my skin looking amazing was a facade until recently. I’d tried everyyyything, and would still get huge ugly pimples along my jaw/chin and cheeks. One would leave and another would appear. It was hell. No face wash, face mask, astringent, was giving me much relief. I’d begin to blame my hormones. I started taking a shot of ACV each morning because I heard of the many health benefits and noticed within a weeks time that my skin was the clearest it had been in almost two years. NOTHING has worked like this. Now that it’s helped get my skin under control, I wash with my clarisonic + Cerave cleanser, tone with this miracle water and finish with this moisturizer. Those products are worth every penny and me and my skin are so happy!
Do you ever think that you’ll get to a point where you’ll have to hire employees or assistants to run The B Werd? I know so many women grow their blogs into full-time businesses and end up hiring a team of employees.
I may get around to hiring someone who can help me pitch, help me make sure I’m not missing emails, help me get projects started, but I never imagined The B Werd being a huge team. If anything, I’d want to grow the company with more women who I’ve helped and make it a source for women bloggers and entrepreneurs to stay motivated, find out how to grow their brands and businesses and even create opportunities for them to work with brands. But right now, this is still my part-time job – so we’ll see!
I recently started my entrepreneurial journey and had assumed that my core group of friends and family would support me as I am doing something really positive. Instead, I’ve been really shocked by the lack of support. My mum and one or two friends have been supportive but otherwise nothing. It’s shaken my confidence quite a lot. How do you cope with lack of support from your core group, especially when you know this is the best path for you?
That’s really tough and I’ve had to learn that our own expectations can be so cruel to us, especially when they don’t result in your favor. Naturally, we expect people to feel the same way we do about things that matter to us, and unfortunately, they’re not obligated to. While it may feel like they’re not supportive, it may be much less personal than you feel it is. When I first started blogging, no one was necessarily negative – but I also know a lot of people around me just didn’t get it. My mom would be like “why are you doing that? Is it making you money?” and even guys I would date would make jokes. It made me realize that I had to do it for myself, not for anyone else’s help or approval. And let me tell you, this blog has allowed me not just the opportunity to make a living outside of my career, but also some really amazing opportunities that they’ll never get. I accepted the fact that if they eventually came around to recognize the value of what I was doing, that would be great and if they didn’t – I’d still be OK. Keep going! If this is truly your passion, everything will align in your favor with or without anyone elses support.
I still have like 12 more coffee talk questions I didn’t have time to get around to, forgive me! I promise to include them in the next go ’round. Y’all have a great weekend!