Comparison is the Thief of Joy

We live in a time where almost everything is public. Accomplishments, new cars, picture perfect bodies, vacations and weddings are all paraded in our faces on a daily basis thanks to social media. Just when we think we’re doing good, we see someone doing better than us while looking better than us.

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”

A big reason why I wanted to start The B Werd was to create a place where we could have the necessary conversations that many of us don’t get to have. It’s not often that we’re in a space where we are comfortable being transparent, especially with one another. Even in friendships, it can be difficult to verbally express what issues we have because we’re uncertain of the genuinity of the response. Is this person truly happy for me? Are they secretly envious? Would they mislead me with their advice because they don’t want me to do better than them?

We’d much rather give off the impression that we don’t have a care in the world instead of being honest about what we may lack while finding ways to support each other. For whatever reason, we mask everything negative that happens in our lives but highlight everything that looks good because let’s be honest, it feels a little (or a lot of) good to show others that we’re living, right? Nothing in this life is all rainbows and sunshine and there are a lot of moments that go on outside of these blog posts where I second guess myself – questioning why I don’t have things, why I haven’t experienced certain things or compare what I’ve done to what others have accomplished. And nope, I’m not too proud to say that to you all.

We all have our own individual insecurities, whether they come and go or have found a permanent place in your mind – no one is exempt no matter how well they portray their happiness. Stop wishing for the lives that others depict because believe me when I say, they too have their own personal struggles. Life isn’t a cakewalk for any of us but there’s a bright side, this life is yours to live. The exact way you want to, with the people you want to, doing the things you want to. Cut comparison out of your life. What someone decides to show us is such a tiny portion of their reality. In the time that you’ve spent comparing what you lack to someone who seems to have it all, you could’ve attained it for yourself. One of the biggest mistakes we make is doing things simply to show off to others. There’s not much value in the likes that come with posting a photo of yourself in a hammock in the Maldives if it doesn’t mirror how you sincerely feel internally. Why are you working overtime to convince others to trust something that you don’t even believe about yourself? Spend more time doing the things that fulfill you and build you up and please, don’t do those things for anyone other than you.

My aim is never to flaunt the life I’m living. I didn’t grow up as a trust fund child and have worked my ass off for the things that I have and get to experience. If anything, I aspire to inspire. What someone else has going on has nothing to do with me. Horses wear blinders while racing to prevent them from being distracted or panicked by what’s going on around them; all they’re interested in doing is winning. Keep that same kind of focus when moving through life and don’t stop ’til you’re satisfied with the person that you are.