I posted this message on Facebook last week after being inspired to touch on the topic by @Myleik. Surprisingly, the post resonated with more people than I was expecting leading me to realize that so many more of us deal with this issue than I recognized. Watching progression can easily make others feel uncomfortable, but that’s not your problem.
Anyone who knows me can attest to this, I’ve always had high expectations. I can’t tell you why, or where it came from, but even as a little girl I was uncomfortable just taking whatever I was given. I loved to push limits and didn’t have a problem finding a way to make something happen for myself if for whatever reason I was told no. I remember driving past gated neighborhoods in the backseat of my mom’s car verbally saying “I’m gonna live there” at like 8 years old. Growing up that way, it’s easy to be labeled as spoiled or even have your preferences labeled as far fetched. I never cared. Now here I am, a grown woman. Finding the ways to make whatever it is that I want happen for myself, by myself.
I’ve had boyfriends tell me that what I expecting from a partner in relationships was unheard of and that I should be more realistic. I’ve had my boss tell me that I shouldn’t expect a certain amount of increase or pay because “that’s not how this company works” or because when she “was my age the average salary was much lower”. I’ve had my own mom taunt me about being saditty based off of the car I choose to drive or where I choose to live because of how different it is from where we were raised. And every time someone would shun me for expressing what I wanted or planned to do, I’d shrink down a little bit back into their views of what is deemed as realistic. I’m not saying this to be mean, but I truly don’t care what your experience has been. It’s my responsibility to create mine. Letting people hold you hostage in their version of reality is how you get stuck in mediocrity. Just because it’s difficult for you to envision, doesn’t mean it’s not possible for me. I’m on my own path to excellence. I don’t need to have experienced it before to know that it’s what I want.
I understand how continuous striving for more can often leave us feeling unfulfilled, ungrateful and discontent. That’s not what I’m suggesting. One of my favorite Bible verses is Philippians 4:11-13 “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” If God tells us we can do all things through him, why let anyone else make us feel like we can’t?
Contentment and mediocrity aren’t one in the same. Contentment says things are so good that I’m at peace with where I am if nothing ever changes. Mediocrity says I’ll do just enough to stay where I’m at, even if it isn’t where I want to be. In this life, the goal is always progression in whatever way you see fit. Progression with your health, your career, your business, your role as a wife or mother, or even your savings account. I can be content with where I am at this very day in my life and still have grander plans for my tomorrow. Your version of excellence is for you to decide. Don’t let anyone else define what excellence looks like for you.
Have an excellent week, boss ladies.
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this post! It was a much needed inspiration and wake up call for me. So many of us can get discouraged by the realities that others create for us. I appreciate your honesty and love that you are so personal with your readers. Your ambition is so encouraging!
Delynn, thank you so much for reading! Don’t let anyone else project their expectations onto you. You can make this life whatever you want! Have a great week boo xx
This post is amazing and beautiful! Truly a #MondayMotivator
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading Candi! xx
Thank you for such a inspiring and uplifting post! Please continue to encourage women all over!
Thank you so much Ashley! Encouraging women will always be the plan 😉
wow!!!! AMAZING article!! best one yet! I needed that! Very inspirational… YES!!!
I have always been told that my expectations for everything in life is too high – I’ve been called told I think I’m more than everyone else and I came from the same place they did, I’m bougie, I need to be painted white because i thought I was white because of my expectations – my response has always been and will continue to be Philippians 4:13. Thank you for sharing this post was very uplifting and encouraging.
Ah, I know this feeling all too well! I used to take it so personally and now, I don’t. I recognize we’re just not one in the same and that’s OK. You do you, and I’ma keep being great LOL! Thank you for reading Shauni <3
Courtney,
It wasn’t the countless mic drops in this post, the quotes I took from it, or the trill revelations that had me waving my hands in praise. It was the raw authenticity of your real-ness. I’ve read your blog from Day 1, and you have never switched up the confidence, hunger to lift others as you climb, or the transparency in your journey. This has been my fave motivational Monday post thus far. New levels bring new devils, and I. AM. HERE. FOR. THIS!
Amazing post, now let me stomp around the office and get this money! #WhoRunTheWorld LOL.
-avid reader
Cass
Cass, thank you SO much for your continuous support and kind words! Every time I see your name, I already know I’m gonna get the confirmation that I hope for. And yassss to the entire Beyonce mood! Honestly, that’s how I plan to feel for the remainder of 2018 okay?! <3
This was AMAZING and the best one yet. I needed this more than you know. Thanks, girl!!!!
I’m so glad this post was what you were needing to read. Thank you for the comment! <3
Preach!!!
Had to take ’em to church on a Monday! LOL thank you for reading <3
I love this post! It makes me think about all these circumstances in life where I’ve had people tell me I shouldn’t have such high expectations for myself or need to “think more realistically.” If we work for it, we deserve to reap the benefits. Not our problem if people aren’t working at our level! Preach!!
Hana, I know that SAME feeling believe me. My response is always “why isn’t my version of excellence realistic?” Probably because they’ve never seen it for themselves. Not our problem! 😉 thank you for reading <3
Yes! Yes and yes! This resonates so much with me right now. You are such an inspiration! I’m trying to get my own journey moving in a completely new direction and the more open I become, the more I see that I’m making the right choices. Keep droppin these gems for us girl!
My sole purpose is to always leave you guys with enough inspiration to help you all move forward and get better in your own lives, so thank you for reading! <3
Just drop the mic on us! This resonated with me so much at the moment because I’ve lost friends who aren’t in line with where i’m going and where I want to be so i get called self absorbed because I keep wanting more for myself. I will not settle for mediocrity!!!