My life over the last decade, and especially the last few years has been all about advancement. From graduating college, landing my first corporate job, building a brand that could mirror my salary, and stepping into real adulthood through marriage and home ownership. As I reach new heights in all areas of my life, it’s been incredibly important to me to make sure I don’t lose what I’ve worked so hard to earn and figure out on my own in my career and personal brand. I’ve climbed my career ladder pretty quickly over the last four years and since starting this blog, I’ve made progress I didn’t imagine attainable for years in half of the time. As impressive as it should feel, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t ever doubt myself.
Often, I’m the youngest in the room and expected to be informed enough to assist men who’ve been in their positions longer than I’ve been alive and as much as I prepare, I feel like I might be wrong. I end up finding lifestyle bloggers on Instagram with more followers, curlier hair, better campaigns with bigger brands and feel like I don’t deserve to be considered one. I feel pressure to know more, be more and do more if I plan to get better and excel higher. After reading “Lean In” and talking to some of the women on my team, I’m realizing that imposter syndrome is something most of us experience, whether often or every now and then.
Why is it that no matter how hard we’ve worked to get where we are, or to create what is ours, a part of us feels like we got there by luck? We fear that someone will find out we’ve faked it ’til we made it and then let everyone else know. We allow viewing other peoples accomplishments as a chance to shrink ourselves and question why we haven’t experienced the same thing. It also doesn’t help that there’s a narrative of gender equality floating around that can easily make you feel like you’ve advanced due to an attempt to be “fair”. What we need to remember is that your success, your achievements, whether well-established or fairly new and uncertain, are real. You have to keep in mind that you didn’t make it this far because no one saw your value. It’s not likely that you tripped and found yourself in the position that you’re in. You probably worked your ass off to be where you are today. If you’ve worked consistently hard and deliberately, you’ve created your successes.
You don’t need validation from anyone other than yourself to believe that what you’ve accomplished so far is enough to be proud about. Some of the women you admire most like Oprah, Issa Rae and Gabrielle Union have all opened up about their imposter syndrome, and look at all they’ve done! The only imposter in your life, is your fear of not being worthy. If you’re feeling like a fraud, believe it or not, you are doing something right. This Monday, go towards the unachievable. xx
Great Monday Motivation!
Much needed!
So glad you enjoyed it Raven! <3 Thank you for reading
I always enjoy your post, especially your motivation posts. They always come at the right when I need some motivation. As a recent college graduate and not having my first post grad job yet I sometimes feel as if I have not accomplished anything. This post helped remind me that I have and it’s going to get better. Thank you.
Tara, you definitely have accomplished quite a bit. You’ve literally accomplished everything that needed to be done in order for you to get to this point. Be proud of that! xx
I’ve been in your dms over this. You nailed it! OMG, thank you. ‘The only imposter in my life is the fear of not being worthy.’ For who you are in this world and all you do for people you dont even know, thanks girl.
Awe Tulonga, that means so much to me! Thank you so much! xx
This post was everything! Thank you for the Monday motivation. Even though I am nowhere CLOSE to where I want to be in my career, these reminders are needed. I do not know why I convince myself that I am not worthy or deserving of blessings. I feel like I have not done enough because compared to those I admire (i.e. like yourself), I suck at life lol. I know you mention all the time the sacrifices and challenges you’ve gone through to get to where you are right now, but I always look at you and say ‘at least she’s figured it out. She knows what she’s working toward and she’s taking the next steps to accomplish those goals’. I WISH i knew what I was working towards; so I ask God everyday to guide me in the direction he sees fit. Again, thank you ! I know I do not know you personally, I am so proud of you <3
Naketa, that’s the thing! I’m stilllll figuring things out. It’s going to be a lifelong process, so look forward to the next level of everything you’ll do. Don’t ever look at women who “have it all together” and use it as a chance to compare and feel bad for yourself. Use it as motivation! Because if it’s possible for them, it’s possible for you! xx