#CoffeeTalk

I’m going on a bachelorette party in Miami in January. What are some restaurants, site seeing opportunities that you can share that will work for a group of women?

I love Miami! It’s such a good time and I miss it so much (can I come with y’all?! lol). I love STK in Miami, because we don’t have one here in Houston. They have a DJ on weekend nights and is normally where I start my party before the party. Barton G is a unique restaurant and Bal Harbour has really cute restaurant options with beautiful scenery for daytime eats. Fifty Lounge is a nice rooftop club that’s 50 floors up with a gorgeous view of the city. The Art Deco district isn’t necessarily fun, but has a ton of different colorful walls that make great photo opportunities outside of the normal South Beach pictures. It’s a bit pricey but if you can, everyone should chip in and get a boat for a day on the water. You won’t regret it. Even this one is less than $100 a person and could be LIT! Have fun!

What do you do when you are in the midst of working your 9-5 job and blog post/topics/thoughts come to mind?

I use WordPress for my site, so I try to login and draft a post with the idea in it that I can revisit later. Even if I’m only filling in the title of the post, I can build off of that when I sit down later. I’ll make a note in my iPhone if I don’t want it to slip my mind. I’m sure that I’ve lost more topics than I realize because I’m ALWAYS multitasking. But if the Lord wants it to be talked about, He will bring it back to me lol. Write it down, it’s the only way.

I’m going to my boyfriend’s family house for Thanksgiving. Outfit ideas? I live in Houston by the way, you know how the weather can be.

Thanksgiving with boyfriends used to stress me out. Families can be judgmental so I want to make sure I’m dressed cute, but more importantly appropriately so they don’t have anything to talk about. It’ll be chilly, luckily so you can layer. I’d stick to a cute sweater or sweater dress with booties or boots or a nice pair of denim. Even a blazer and cute scarf would be nice. I avoid high heels because there’s no reason why I should have stilletos on in someones grandmas kitchen. Here are some options –

I was bored at work and shuffling through your posts, as if I hadn’t already read every last one of them, and I came across a section of “things you wish you knew at 21.” In the post, you mentioned how you fell in love shortly after turning 22 and how much you now appreciate that breakup. I was wondering 1.) how did you heal from the breakup and 2.) what advise would you give to someone from the things you learned?

After my breakup I didn’t know who I was anymore, I had to get back to myself. I had lost so many of the things I loved about myself. I made it a point to get out of the house and enjoy life but overall, I was sad. Sad in the mornings and before I went to bed. I wanted to make sense of my situation so badly so I went searching for enlightenment. I read two books in particular, A Return to Love and The Four Agreements. Those two books help me understand that so much of the burden that we carry isn’t ours. People have their own flaws and we often take their flaws personal. We think “what’s wrong with me?” “what didn’t I have or do right?” and things of that nature when really it often has very little to do with us and a lot to do with the person we’re dealing with. I spent a lot of time picking myself apart. If there were any mistakes I made, I forced myself to acknowledge them in order to do better in the future and not make them again. I traveled often and had conversations with strangers everywhere, beaches, airports, restaurant bars. I found a lot of peace in knowing that everyone felt like I felt at some point in their life and they went on to enjoy it. Most importantly, I got better in every sense. I graduated, landed a job that I loved, saved more money, did new things, looked better, became kinder. I grew mentally and emotionally. It hurt me deeply, but it made me so much better because I didn’t stay stuck there. There’s something incredible about willpower. Focus on yourself, move forward and don’t worry about why things didn’t work, what he’s doing now or who he’s doing it with. I’ve found that things happen exactly the way they should.

I live for your travel guides! What’s up next on your list?

I’ve booked Cuba for my birthday in February now that US citizens are welcome. I’ll also be in Paris in March. I was just talking to my friend Ciera about getting back to Miami and I’m sure I’ll be in LA a few times before then as well.

I work for an accounting firm and we have an annual holiday party that’s black tie optional. I don’t want to spend more than $100 for one night but obviously want to look amazing. Dress suggestions please!

You definitely don’t have to spend more than $100. There are so many options for you under that where you can still feel gorgeous and not taken advantage of for spending too much for one evening. See below –

You mentioned on another post that denim is one thing you’ll splurge on and all of yours fits you so good! I realize now I’ve spent more money on cheaply made Forever21 jeans than I would’ve on a nice pair that I could wear over and over. What are your favorites?

Good jeans really don’t have to be expensive. Every time I buy a pair of jeans from Saks or Nordstrom, I find them months later at the outlet for less than half of what I paid for them. All of these jeans are Nordstrom Rack are amazing quality and discounted heavily. You can still get quality denim without splurging. All of these are close to $100, if not under.

I recently decided I wanted to blog and the lack of support I’ve gotten from my family and friends is discouraging. I know I shouldn’t need anyone to believe in me to go after what I want, but their lack of interest does take a toll on me. Did you encounter a similar situation?

For years before I started a blog, everyone around me encouraged me to do it. They liked my views, enjoyed my stance on different issues and felt I could help others by sharing. Once I started the blog, they all felt like “about time!” since they’d knew it was something I’d do well at. Everything is exciting at first, but when the real work kicks in everyone won’t be up for helping. Not everyone will understand all the work that comes with what you’re putting together. I’ve had friends who are photographers that didn’t offer to help, I’ve had family members think I’m ridiculous because I’m leaving the house to take photos (it is kinda ridiculous but it comes with it). The most important part of your vision is the fact that it’s yours. You’re the only one who has to see it and believe in it. My friends know what I’m about and they know what this means to me; but even if they don’t understand it fully, I don’t blame them. I’ll keep doing the work that I need to and all I’m gonna say is… Just know they can’t come to The White House with me when I get invited! Lol

I’m considering creating a YouTube account to answer your #CoffeeTalk questions, since I feel they can be a bit lengthy. I’m interested to know if you all think it’d be more efficient. As always, leave your questions in the comments or send them over in an email to be answered in the next go-round. Have a great weekend!

**Completely Irrelevant** H&M has a huge Black Friday sale going on for 24 hours. You NEED to shop it. Thank me later.