#CoffeeTalk

I’m also getting married and wanted to know if you had any ideas for a bridal shower dress? I’m open to wearing white and shades of blush. 

I have no bridal shower in sight, but I’ve run into so many dresses I would want to wear to mine! When I finally do get mine planned I’m gonna have a really hard time deciding on one LOL. Here are some stunning options!

I love your blog! Any advice for a black woman who’s struggling to get her career off the ground? I finished my Master’s program a little over four years ago and I’ve only had success with temporary work (e.g., internships, grant-funded positions, etc.). Sadly, my previous roles didn’t lead to anything permanent; and at this point, all of my professional experience is spotty. Early on in my job search, I was at least getting interviews. Now I’m lucky if I get an email. To make ends meet, I’ve taken on part-time work as a nanny and a Lyft driver. Should I keep going or should I abandon my career aspirations and just start over in another field?

Thank you so much! Unfortunately, it can be more and more difficult to land a job the further away you get from graduation. As time passes, we become over qualified for entry level positions with no experience to back it up. It’s hard for me to say whether or not you should start over in another field, not knowing what your field is, but I’d hate for you to not be able to use everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve. Does your field allow some kind of consulting? You could always do that individually for multiple companies, or even use that as a way to prove yourself as a company you’d like to work at. I’d also suggest investing in a professional resume. Websites like Top Resume and Career Booster help thousands of people land their dream jobs. It could very easily be a simple mistake such as not using the correct keywords or headings. If you do decide to switch fields, use whatever transferable skills you have to build a resume that makes you sound experienced. I know it can easily be discouraging, but think outside of the box! Good luck!

I really have admired your confident and wanted to get your advice on dating someone with kids and how to cope with the situation as well as the role you play in. Currently, I’ve just been playing like the “cool aunt” in which I am perfectly fine because I don’t want to overstep any boundaries. I currently live with them and they’re amazing kids. I don’t have kids nor was I ever married so it can be difficult to feel confident in the situation at times. He does a great job of attending my needs and time and making me feel special. But for some reason I feel at times it’s not enough because I’m naturally selfish. He gets along very well with his ex wife and his other baby mother. I guess I get a little insecure at times knowing I’m not the only woman in his life. Any advice on how to look at the situation and be more confident without letting my insecurities affect my relationship with him? 

Whew! That is really a tough one. At the end of the day, it’s going to all boil down to preference. I was actually in a similar situation with my last boyfriend. He had a daughter, who was such a sweet and smart little girl, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I was bothered by it. I never wanted to date a man with kids, but he was so much of what I wanted that I was willing to bend in that instance. She was a great kid, but it became difficult because I knew when it came to having children and starting a family, I wanted me and my husband to experience parenthood for the first time together. There would be times where we’d be enjoying our Sunday, but it had to end early so that he could go and get his daughter or times where I couldn’t lay on him or kiss him cause she was around. Knowing I’d always come second to his daughter didn’t sit well with me long term, but I still put my best foot forward. I would make it a point to plan activities that included her, like making gingerbread houses or going to the pumpkin patch. It got to the point where I enjoyed her and cared about her well-being, even if it wasn’t ideal. Our relationship ended up not working out, but in essence had he been the one for me I would’ve had to get acclimated to the idea of having a daughter, so just give it a shot. Blended families are more and more common, so if he’s not mistreating you it’s worth seeing if you can handle – but don’t feel guilty for your selfishness. Going into this relationship, you likely knew he had children and an ex-wife, so this isn’t news. What are your nonnegotiable’s? He treats you well, makes time for you, has allowed you to live with him and his children – that says a lot. Consider all the things that you’ve found in him and less of what he’s missing. I can say now that I’m engaged and neither of us have children, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way but I definitely considered it. I hope this helps!

I’ll be turning 30 next month. I have been through a lot in life (including battling PTSD and depression) but I am celebrating life and I plan to ring in my birthday in Spain. I normally wear black all the time, but I would love to wear red since it will be out of the box for me. I have been looking all over for a long red dress that screams celebration. What would you recommend, please help! Thank you so much!

Ahhh, celebrating a birthday in Spain sounds like a dream! I hope you have the best time – you deserve it. Here are several gorgeous red dresses for you to choose from. Take lots of pictures 😉

Firstly, congratulations on your engagement. I can not wait to see how everything comes together for you! I am going on a weekend trip to New Orleans the beginning of March and have been STRUGGLING hunty with my packing. Any advise on what to pack?

Thank you so much! Planning definitely is no punk LOL but we’re excited. New Orleans is funnnnn but don’t stress yourself out on what to pack. It’s a super laid back place that involves a ton of walking, so put comfort over everything. It should be warm, so you can do a cute romper or a breezy dress to explore in the daytime. I’ve even done Bourbon street in a midi dress and sneakers, so don’t feel like you’ve gotta do too much! A pair of jeans and a cute top will suffice for night time, unless you have plans to go out then dresses are definitely appropriate.

I couldn’t help but notice your flawless, glowing skin in your recent Hawaii posts on IG. I’m wondering if you have done laser hair removal? I thought to ask you because we have a very similar skin color… very tan in summer, light in winter (I’m mixed Greek/Black). I’m looking to start and wanted to know your input if you have done laser. I’ve read ND YAG works well for individuals with darker shades of skin. Any thought on this? Alexandrite laser seems to be too strong for my skin… I’ve actually been burned before 😒 If you have any information, I would greatly appreciate it!

Thank you! I have not done laser hair removal before, but my sister did. We’re not too hairy, but our hair grows in very dark. She got 4 treatments on her top lip and is still having to get it threaded, so I’m going to pass. My skin is also superrrr sensitive. Even waxing on my face will cause me to get a rash. I can wax my bikini and underarms with no issues (weird), but as for my face – I use these eyebrow razors to clean up any hair that may be getting too wild. I’ve had a few friends have great success with laser hair removal, I’m just too paranoid to try it on myself. I’d look up a ton of reviews before going through with it!

I know Winter’s almost over but I’ve also heard that this is the best time to load up on coats and jackets. Do you have any that you’re eyeing? Please share! 

You know I do! See what’s in my carts below –

How are you managing work and planning a wedding? I get married in October and I have nothing planned but the venue. There’s just so many options and I’m finding the process extremely overwhelming. 

I’m not managing it at all LOL. I hired a wedding planner and we’re also still looking at venues, so we haven’t made very much progress – although I do think that we’ve found the one! With everything I have going on, I’m going to have to dedicate time to the wedding planning process. Two apps that have definitely helped me have been The Knot and Wedding Wire. Sign up with both of those and they’ll give you suggested vendors, to-do lists and even discounts.

Can you recommend any good gifts for a sister’s 30th birthday? Something pretty and $100 or less. Thanks!

My sister turned 30 last year and I was torn between buying her jewelry or a trinket that she could wear often and forever, or something she’d been wanting like a pair of heels or a purse. Here’s a good combination of both, all under $100 –

Do you ever come across other women, bloggers, or business owners who obviously copy your style or what you do? And if so, how do you handle it? I’m also a blogger and try to be as transparent as possible similar to you but I find other women I help copying my blog post ideas, the way I edit my photos and so many other things. 

If I had a dollar for every time I ran into another blogger or influencer imitating what I’m doing, writing or teaching – I’d have a whole lot of dollars. It used to annoy me, because I felt like I was fighting to be seen – but I quit caring because it’s out of my control. It all boils down to how secure I am with myself. I trust that what I’m doing is a specific pathway for me to do more of what I dream of. I’m willing to share everything I know because my goal is to help as many people as possible, but just because I share my path with you doesn’t mean that path will lead you to the same destination. I’m a firm believer that what’s meant for me, will be mine regardless of whether or not 100 other girls are doing the same thing. No one can be me, and no one can be you – and that’s just the beauty of individuality. The more you learn to trust that there’s something special about you that no one can replicate, the better off you’ll be.

Thank you for all of the #CoffeeTalk questions! From the comments left on what of my last Instagram pics, I realize how much you guys like these now. Please leave questions for next week down below or shoot them over via email. I’m working on quite a bit but want to be sure I give you guys what you want! Have a great weekend xx