I have few friends for good reason. I’m not opposed to making new ones, nor do I necessarily feel like I need to. My relationships are always built with Quality > Quantity in mind. I don’t require much from my friends other than for them to be who they are because the choice of friendship is mine at the end of the day. I’m a firm believer of attracting what you are, and as you grow, you develop the relationships necessary to fulfill whatever you need at that time. As for me, I’ve always had a small circle that changed as needed. Not because I feel friendships have time limits, but because I know that all of the friends I’ve had served different purposes for me. Just as snakes shed the skin they’re in once they outgrow it, you will need you leave friends that no longer fit behind.
Over the years I’ve had several friendships fizzle out. I’m thankful to say that none of them ended over anything critical, they just happened to well… end. Like any other teenage girl coming into adulthood, I had had friends that would support my stupid decisions instead of correct me, and friends that were always ready to have a good time, which was great for where I was at that point in life. I had friends that started families early and some that were so unhappy with themselves that they couldn’t acknowledge the good in others. I reached a point where I truly began seeking friends who would water me, even if it was only three or four. People I considered friends effortlessly fell like petals from a flower that was no longer alive, while I continued to bloom. And that’s perfectly OK. I reached a place where I needed friends who would challenge me with good intentions, be willing to disagree when I’m wrong, have some sound advice to give and teach me a thing or two. You will find exactly what you desire. I became so at peace with myself that I no longer needed the commotion that came with unstable friendships. It served no purpose in my long-term goals.
Like many things in life that we consume; medicine, dairy, fruit; it’s very likely some of your friendships will expire too. Once they spoil, they’re less effective or even potentially harmful. Different levels of your life will require different friends that will nurture the person you are along with who you will become. When you’re younger, you pick food based off taste without considering what it will do to you. You don’t mind taking in things you deem delicious, even though they’re not the best for you. As you get older (and wiser), those foods have a different effect on you. They don’t fulfill you the same, you don’t feel as good when you eat them and they even take a toll on your health. Pick your friends like you’d pick your food. Both should provide you sources of nourishment. There will be times where you need to increase your confidence intake, or up your dosage of determination or adventure. Seek those who have what you need in excess and stray from those who drain what you don’t have enough of.
In life peoples paths cross, take turns, and lead in different directions. Everyone is not meant to come where you are going. Yes, it’s unfortunate but necessary. Which of your relationships have a shelf life?
This is on point. Great read! Very much needed. Thank you!
Thank you for reading Lauren. I’m glad that you enjoyed it! <3
Hey Courtney!
Giiiirl. Preach. This. I have learned through experience that some friends are aligned with you based on convenience and benefits. Ultimately, they aren’t true friends and so you hit the nail on the head with the selection process. The best friends are organically grown (just like food or produce). I have outgrown many friendships based on season. The party stage all the way to motherhood and career path.
I try to focus now on diversity in a circle of friends and empowering women around me. We should all bring something great to the table with any relationship. Or sit at the table alone if preferred.
Great read per usual. 🙂 looking forward to the next.
-Avid reader
Cassidy
Cassidy, YOU GET IT! The best friends are TRULY grown organically and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to pass on “foods” you know aren’t good for you. Cheers to diversity, boo. xx
This post is everything! I think especially as females we want all of our friends to grow and prosper when we do but in reality that’s just not the case for most and we come to realize that people really do have different paths than ours….. doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends with them just means your outgrowing certain people and it’s perfectly fine.
You hit the nail on the head. Keep being great. If your friends want to come along, they will. If they don’t, no hard feelings but you were made to grow. Thank you for reading Niya!
LET ME TELL YOU.
I met someone whom I thought would be my bestfriend forever when I first got to college. I loved her soooo much, but everyone around me hated her. They warned me of her true intentions, but I never listened. I just am the type of person who always wants to see the best in people, to a fault. As time went on and I grew, she didn’t, which caused friction in our friendship. I can honestly say it was the first friendship I had to end in disaster. I never wanted it to end that way, or imagined that it would, but it did. Simply because, I held on to her a lot longer than I should have. I didn’t understand that some people only come into your life for a season, and the hard part is knowing when to let them go. I still think of her till this day, and wish her all of the best.
I also didn’t understand that outgrowing people is not always a bad thing. I’ve just never had alot of friends, so the ones I do have, I hold close to my heart.
Great read Courtney!
Brianna, now that you know better believe me… you will do better! Lol make sure that anyone you’re calling a friend is willing to treat you just as well as you treat them. It’s a two way street. As we get older, we reach a point where we shouldn’t even have to tell our friends what they’ve done wrong. That friendship ended for a reason and I hope that you continue to attract women just as amazing as you! xx
Good read.
“Different levels of your life will require different friends that will nurture the person you are along with who you will become.”
If this aint the truth. If you are in a growth state and whole heartedly trying to be a better person than you were, you need people on your team that are watering you as you bloom. Not those reaching for your water or blocking your sun.
No hard feelings to the lost ones. Will answer of they call. Just growing.
What you’re saying is so necessary. Keep growing Jo! xx