I was recently scrolling through my bookmarked articles and ran across one I’ve had saved for years called “Fuck Yes or No” by Mark Manson. In this post, he talks about a gray area that occurs in most early stages of dating where feelings and direction are unclear or one person is much more interested than the other. This is the point in many relationships where we start to complicate things, racking our brains wondering what we can do to clarify where we’re headed or what the other person wants. “We have a great time when we’re together but he’s really hard to pin down.” “I don’t really like him that much but I know he’ll treat me right.” “He said he’s not interested in anything serious but still texts me everyday, that has to mean something.”
Because you can’t figure it out, you’re asking everyone around you to help you solve this mystery. You’re asking your best friends, your mom, and your coworkers, even giving them examples of scenarios in hopes that they’ll form an opinion close enough to the one that you want to hear. The funny thing is, when we ask for advice we normally already know the truth. We have the answers that we’re seeking within us. Ironically, we have this gray area in most aspects of our lives and we get so analytical about it, that we spend more time trying to strategically behave in order to get our way than we do actually behaving as ourselves and following our gut.
This gray area is also the birthplace of a lot of manipulation that’s guaranteed to exhaust you. Would you want to drive a car that you’d have to give up at any minute? Or be fighting to keep a job that was constantly threatening to fire you? What about agree to give someone $1000 if they’d never pay you back? The answer is “no” to all of those questions. In your right mind, you’d never say yes to something that would affect your livelihood if you were unsure about it. There are so many mediocre things in life, why would you want to allow that to overflow into parts of your life that should be ruled purely by desire?
Regardless of your circumstances, you have to know that you hold all the power that you need to create the life that you want. There are without a doubt some things in life we can’t say no to, like responsibilities, growing up, paying taxes, but we have choices when it comes to the quality of our lives. How simple would it be to live by the “Fuck Yes or No” concept in all aspects of our lives that pertain to passion? Whether you’re chasing a job, a dream or a person, if the answer isn’t “Fuck Yes” when you ask yourself if you really want it, you’re likely wasting your precious time and energy. The things that make you say “Fuck Yes” are the things that ignite a fire in you. They push you to do the things you normally wouldn’t and give you energy you didn’t know you had. Comfortability isn’t good, it’s the worst. Your comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there. Starting today, refuse those things that don’t give you a “Fuck Yes” feel. They will never fulfill what you truly long for.
Enjoy your weekend! I’m out of the country tomorrow for vacation and I’m thinking about finally using my Snapchat 😉