“I would really like to see a post on your take on “sugar daddies” or just the overall taking money from men. Do you think this is something that should be shunned upon? What’s your view on the quote “you have to pay to play”? I myself am a hardworking female but I don’t mind for a man I’m dating to buy me gifts or pay bills. My friends think that I’m a gold digger in which I totally disagree! In the day and age of the “Instagram Culture” I think we’ve been given a bad name if you take money from men.”
“I would really like to see a post on your take on “sugar daddies” or just the overall taking money from men. Do you think this is something that should be shunned upon? What’s your view on the quote “you have to pay to play”? I myself am a hardworking female but I don’t mind for a man I’m dating to buy me gifts or pay bills. My friends think that I’m a gold digger in which I totally disagree! In the day and age of the “Instagram Culture” I think we’ve been given a bad name if you take money from men.”I’m not the kind of woman who shuns much, to be quite honest. Whether or not I agree with what another woman is doing, her life is hers to live as long as she can stomach the reactions of her choices. Just to be fair, I don’t think anyone, man or woman necessarily minds someone giving them a gift or lessening any of their burdens. I wouldn’t go as far to call you a gold digger, seeing as you said you don’t mind the actions but don’t demand them. However, I can see why gold digging is frowned upon. You’re using someone that you don’t care for to gain material things. In my opinion, women cross the line when they create expectations for the men that they date that are outside of what their role is. What I expect from a man I’m in a relationship with is completely different from what I would expect from a man that I’m getting to know.
The best way for a woman to do anything, is to do it for herself. Get it for herself, earn it for herself. I’m a incredibly independent woman, almost to a fault, so I have a hard time letting a man do anything for me. I don’t want to feel as if I owe him anything and don’t want anything held over my head. If I cut ties, I want to be able to walk away from him with a clean slate. As big as I am on things between me and my man being equivalent, I will say that I LOVE gifts. I’m not exaggerating, gifts are my love language. Although I’d never ask for or demand one, they’re one way to truly make me feel cared for. They excite me, so I understand why they’re wanted. The difference is I’m always willing to give them in return. If someone is doing something for you that you wouldn’t happily do for them, you may be out of bounds.
The motive behind your actions are the determining factor. It will always boil down to the “why”. Are you taking money from men because you need it? Or because you feel like men need to pay for your time to prove their interest? If he decides not to buy you gifts or give you anything material, would you still be interested? It’s your responsibility to show a man how you’d like to be treated, but it’s not your place to demand they pay for your time or attention. Would you want to feel as though you had to spend your own hard earned money in order to get to know the man you were interested in? There’s a difference between a man caring for you while making sure you’re taken care of and a man taking care of you in hopes he’ll get what he wants from you. Connections should be genuine, if that’s what you’re looking for. As a woman you will reach a point in your life, if you haven’t already, where your value will be based on things outside of material possessions. You’ll look for characteristics that don’t cost anything but hold much more weight; such as honesty, integrity, thoughtfulness, support. And if that man happens to gift you in ways outside of that, he sounds like a winner to me.
The way that you write the way I feel and how I do what I do is uncanny and a true gift. Forever loving your posts.
Thank you Brie! So glad to hear that you’re enjoying these posts. I’m just writing as I go LOL Thanks for reading <3
I really like your perspective in this post!
We live in a day and age where people are consumed with materialism. People feel validated if they can show off their relationship in a tangible way. Unfortunately, social media has led some women to believe that a relationship is based solely off of what a man can do for them monetarily. I’ve even heard some women go as far as saying that when they are dating a guy, they expect him to pay their bills, pay for them to get their hair and nails done, etc. As an independent, gainfully employed woman, I have never expected “Prince Charming” to come sweep me off of my feet and do things for me that I cannot afford to do for myself. If a woman can’t afford to keep her hair and nails done, how can you demand that a man do those things for you? If I drive a Honda, how can I demand that the man I’m dating buy me a Maserati? Water usually seeks it’s own level. A real man will do his best to provide for his woman, but only in proportion to his level of commitment to her.
I didn’t intend to rant, or write a post beneath your post Courtney, but I really liked how you put these things into perspective. It’s like you said, “women cross the line when they create expectations for the men that they date that are outside of what their role is” and “The best way for a woman to do anything, is to do it for herself. Get it for herself, earn it for herself.”
Jessica, we are most definitely on the same page. I actually wrote a post about expecting things that we can’t give ourselves and how that works against us (read it here https://thebwerd.com/are-your-expectations-working-against-you/ ). Women will either be alone or unhappy a looooong time if what they’re looking for is a man who loves and appreciates them with “things”. I like “things”, don’t get me wrong! But I can do them for myself. I need a man for other reasons. Women go on dates and order a steak but don’t have enough in their accounts to pay for the meal if the date went south! Anyway, LOL – this was a nice way of me saying, let’s not get carried away. Using people isn’t favorable and karma is real.
Thank you for reading boo!
I absolutely love this! Don’t expect more from someone than what you can give to yourself. I believe that in this social media age, people do translate getting gifts, trips, and nice dinners into love. If you’re not at all interested in dating someone, you shouldn’t take anything from them, because if someone is giving you gifts they expect something in return, and that doesn’t always mean sexual favors. They may not even vocalize it, but they do.
I’m glad you enjoyed it Brianna! Thank you for reading xx