“I would really like to see a post on your take on “sugar daddies” or just the overall taking money from men. Do you think this is something that should be shunned upon? What’s your view on the quote “you have to pay to play”? I myself am a hardworking female but I don’t mind for a man I’m dating to buy me gifts or pay bills. My friends think that I’m a gold digger in which I totally disagree! In the day and age of the “Instagram Culture” I think we’ve been given a bad name if you take money from men.”
I’m not the kind of woman who shuns much, to be quite honest. Whether or not I agree with what another woman is doing, her life is hers to live as long as she can stomach the reactions of her choices. Just to be fair, I don’t think anyone, man or woman necessarily minds someone giving them a gift or lessening any of their burdens. I wouldn’t go as far to call you a gold digger, seeing as you said you don’t mind the actions but don’t demand them. However, I can see why gold digging is frowned upon. You’re using someone that you don’t care for to gain material things. In my opinion, women cross the line when they create expectations for the men that they date that are outside of what their role is. What I expect from a man I’m in a relationship with is completely different from what I would expect from a man that I’m getting to know.
The best way for a woman to do anything, is to do it for herself. Get it for herself, earn it for herself. I’m a incredibly independent woman, almost to a fault, so I have a hard time letting a man do anything for me. I don’t want to feel as if I owe him anything and don’t want anything held over my head. If I cut ties, I want to be able to walk away from him with a clean slate. As big as I am on things between me and my man being equivalent, I will say that I LOVE gifts. I’m not exaggerating, gifts are my love language. Although I’d never ask for or demand one, they’re one way to truly make me feel cared for. They excite me, so I understand why they’re wanted. The difference is I’m always willing to give them in return. If someone is doing something for you that you wouldn’t happily do for them, you may be out of bounds.
The motive behind your actions are the determining factor. It will always boil down to the “why”. Are you taking money from men because you need it? Or because you feel like men need to pay for your time to prove their interest? If he decides not to buy you gifts or give you anything material, would you still be interested? It’s your responsibility to show a man how you’d like to be treated, but it’s not your place to demand they pay for your time or attention. Would you want to feel as though you had to spend your own hard earned money in order to get to know the man you were interested in? There’s a difference between a man caring for you while making sure you’re taken care of and a man taking care of you in hopes he’ll get what he wants from you. Connections should be genuine, if that’s what you’re looking for. As a woman you will reach a point in your life, if you haven’t already, where your value will be based on things outside of material possessions. You’ll look for characteristics that don’t cost anything but hold much more weight; such as honesty, integrity, thoughtfulness, support. And if that man happens to gift you in ways outside of that, he sounds like a winner to me.