As transparent as I am, I’m pretty selective about what I openly share in regards to my personal life but what occurred this past weekend is by far way too monumental to not share with you all. On Friday, August 18th, I got engaged! Before I go into detail I want you all to know my previous thoughts on marriage. I have never been the kind of girl who daydreamed about her perfect wedding day or envisioned how I’d react to my dream proposal. I had never once Googled wedding dresses or rings for fun. Nothing bridal catches my attention. Although I knew I wanted to be a wife eventually, marriage never excited me the way it does most women. In fact, I had even made peace with the idea that marriage may not happen for me and I was perfectly okay with that. The last thing I wanted for myself was to welcome marriage simply because of the idea of it and not because I had genuinely found someone I wanted to do life alongside forever.
Me and my now fiance (wow, that’s weird) began as genuine friends which was actually perfect. I had the chance to get to know who he truly was without expectation and he did the same. We were able to do this without judgment, disappointment or any of the other negative emotions that you may experience when dating. We simply liked one another for who we were. I got to witness first hand how fun and carefree he was, how kind and caring he was and how dependable he was. Based off the genuine conversations our friendship had allowed us to have, I knew what he was looking for, what his faults were and how great of a man he could be if he really wanted to be. He never crossed any boundaries, never pressured me, and always supported me. As a matter of fact, I think the first time I was able to imagine him as mine was when he volunteered to learn how to shoot me so that I could do a Style Guide for the blog. This one to be exact. It got to a point where we could and would do everything together; party, work-out, grocery shop, or even nothing. If we were already doing everything together, why not share our lives together? So we did. Since the moment I’ve let him in my life he has not disappointed.
The day of the proposal, I was under the impression it would be a regular date night. Nate told me he’d made dinner plans for us at Steak48 for 8 pm, which was nothing out of the ordinary for us. I was in an exceptionally good mood because all my friends were in town and I had made plans to see my friends here in town too. I showed up at his place and he looked so nice! We took a shot and left the house. I’m still so surprised at how calm he was throughout all of this. On the way to the restaurant we’re singing our hearts out to old Jagged Edge and Jon B, so the mood was set without me even realizing it. Once we arrive he told the hostess that we had a reservation. She says OK and then tells us we’ll be up on the terrace. Me, being me, instantly asks “is that outside?”. It was a good 101 degrees that day and the humidity was intense. She replies yes and I ask if it’s possible to be seated inside. She says “you all are with the large party upstairs” and I still didn’t get it. I insist we aren’t with a party while Nate is behind me signaling the waitress to tell me no to whatever I ask. I can see the hostesses eyes quickly switching between me and Nate and just figured my personality was coming off a bit too strong. Finally she says “give us a few moments to get a table ready for you down here and we’ll come and get you when it’s ready.” I’m annoyed at this point, but go upstairs anyway.
The stairs are paved with glass so as I’m walking up I see Kandace, my best friend Farran’s girlfriend on the terrace with a camera. I turn to Nate and say “babe, Kandace is here! They must be outside taking photos!” since Farran is a photographer. I was so excited thinking this was going to be the start of a fun night since I’d randomly ran into one of my best friends. The door to the terrace opens and I walk outside to see Farran and Kandace with cameras, but they don’t move or speak. I look to the left and there are no table settings on the tables. No plates, no napkins, so I ask “what’s going on?” in complete confusion. He grabs my hand turns me toward the right where I see our family and closest friends waiting in silence with their cameras up. WHOA! I literally had to take a step back and gasp for air. I was in complete shock. My heart was pounding at this point and I blurt out “you’re fucking with me” in natural Courtney fashion. All I recall him saying is “no, I’m not. Listen to me.” and I went deaf after that. He got on one knee and all I could hear were my own thoughts. “He isn’t doing this. Oh my God he’s doing this. He’s doing this”. He pulled the ring box out of his back pocket and I said yes ten times in my own head before I could actually get the word out. I thought that I would cry when it finally happened but honestly, my brain could not process my emotions quickly enough for me to be able to shed a tear.
Before he put the ring on my finger I yell out “wait, wait, wait” like I needed more time to really get a grip on what was going on. He slipped the stunning ring onto my trembling hand and that was that. Our family and friends started cheering and walking towards us for hugs and I was so overwhelmed with love. Everyone close to me had been lying to me about their plans, why they were in town, what they were doing that evening and the surprise could not have been more perfect. Did I mention that damn ring?!? That boy has good taste.
Me and Nate discussed marriage comfortably and openly, so I knew we both had plans to be with one another in that way, but he blew my mind with this proposal. They say when you know, you know and for the first time I had built an open, honest and transparent relationship with someone I adored. Anyone who has seen us together can attest to the fact that we’re the perfect pair for one another. I didn’t realize how many times I’ve said something close to “what did I do to deserve all this?” since last Friday until Nate pointed it out and I had to check myself. I’ve done everything to deserve this kind of happiness, friendship and unwavering love. So often we condition ourselves into thinking and believing we don’t deserve all things good, but here I am, living proof that you can have even more than what you hope for. I’m still so blown away that he orchestrated all that he did last weekend without me finding out. I’m so nosey! We’re so so grateful to all of our friends and family who took the time out to celebrate with us and express their happiness for our love.
Watch it all unfold below:
I’ll have these kind of videos up and running much more than before, so feel free to subscribe to my YouTube channel. Next up, I’ll share all the photos and footage from the surprise engagement party. If y’all think of some clever wedding hashtags, please share them with me! I appreciate all of you being patient with the time I decided to take away from the blog to soak all of this up. Things will be up and running as normal next week. Thank you all for watching!
Photos and footage by my ace: @FarranWeezy